“When all else fails, go into victim mode.” It all seems so counterintuitive to me. Because “victim” entails helplessness and disassociation from responsibility. If there is any conviction at all, it’s that you can do nothing. Things always happen to you, never because of what you do. And somehow, things are supposed to magically turn up for you at some point. How? Oh, I dunno … luck? News is: Even if they do, your perspective is so realistic pessimistic and skewed you would fail to appreciate or even recognize it. I feel like a couple citations here would help: “Karma’s a bitch.”
“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.”
-2 Cor 9:6
So if you aren’t there to take responsibility for your own actions, maybe you are lucky enough to have others pick up for you. Well, that is, only the most empathic or gullible of friends. And you mayÂ reward them by calling them your best friends in the world. The main catch is that when they realize their energies are an unwise investment (yes - inÂ you) eventually, they will wisen up. Eventually. Hopefully. In reality, you do them a disservice. You punish them, yes - even exploit them, because of their caring nature. And you have no idea you’re doing this because all you can see is yourself, thereby making them victims until they wisen up. Well, that is, if they have the same mindset as you - either way, if they believe they’re a victim you are no better than the perpetrator. The end result? You do no favors for yourself or them. Not in the areas of growth, of maturity, of personal responsibility. They may start to resent you for exploiting their empathy and/or guilt, and you know, it’s only natural. After all, you have made yourself a bottomless hole of an investment. You drain them of any energy they might have left for anyone else, including themselves. If and when they’ve gotten smart enough to run away, you’ve just succeeded in driving your closest away from you. Newsflash: When they’ve run away from you, they’ve succeeded in preventing themselves from becoming the victim. So this is my advice suggestion: Do yourself and everyone around you aÂ favor and take ownership and take responsibility. I’m not saying to get down on yourself for your failures - for without failure you can’t enjoy your successes. In fact, failure is imperative to success. Without risk there is no reward, and the journey of lifeÂ is all about smoothing over those little dips. Be the example and not the charity case.Â When you fail to take responsibility or you let these failures take a hold of you, the ultimate endÂ is paralysis. No one ever got stronger because of a peachy-keen life. And the only way to grow as a person is to address that which has gotten you down so you can overcome. Life is not a contest to see who’s gotten it handed to themÂ worst - it’s what you can accomplish as a result of or despite what’s been handed to you. Bottom line: Get over yourself. Everyone else has.