I Have Big Feet

Not only do I have a big head, I have big feet too. And exactly one year after buying my non-Uggs-brown boots, I have a boot purchase experience where that fact became all the more obvious. It’s not like I need a reminder. My 5’10” blonde best girlfriend named Christina and I can swap shoes. I’m 5’4” and she doesn’t necessarily have small feet for her height. It’s convenient for situations where either of us didn’t bring exactly the right pair of shoes and might be on the other’s side of town. If we didn’t like to buy pairs of shoes for ourselves as much as we do we’d be doing a lot more shoe collection consolidating. Anyway, I had gotten a call in my car but my headset and cell had lost its sync. I turned into an alley to conduct the conversation legally (that means hands-free only) and was able to firm up plans for the night. As I finished and hung up, I realized that lo and behold, I had turned into the parking lot behind Miss Sixty on Melrose. Miss Sixty, Miss Sixty … such fond memories. Right up there with Fornarina. Just really fun and edgy Italian fashion. There’s also a sub-brand called Killah, which is primarily only in Italy and say, Miami over here in the U.S. - but my favorite pair of shoes are Killah’s that I bought in Sorrento last year. When I walked in and saw their shoe selection and was informed that all the shoes were 30% off, I got elated when I saw these…

Not only that - in addition - you save $10 for every $100 so essence that’s almost 10% more taken off.

The bad news came after I asked to try on my size. Or, the European equivalent of such. The girl helping me out said there was only an 8 and 10 and only ran in whole sizes. The other customer who had gotten there just before me - with whom I was having fun conversing with - got the last pair of 9s. I’m an 8.5 pushing 9. But I couldn’t not try them, so I said I’d try the 8 (EUR 38). She brought them out.

To my surprise I put my foot in and the toes didn’t even touch the toes in the boot. Awesome. And they were comfy. Roomy.

When I went up to pay for them, she looks at the box and says, “Oops - so you never even tried the 8’s; these are the 10’s.” That’s a EUR 40, by the way.

Amazing. I wear a size 10 boot, and I’m 5’4”. Seriously - I have friends my height who are a 7 shoe. It even duped me during puberty. I said to myself for about 2 years past growth spurt expiration, “Oh, I’ll keep growing taller - after all, look how big my feet are” as some sort of completely misguided consolation. As if there was definitively an ideal height to aspire to, or that we all necessarily want to be tall. After doing some online research, I found a conversion chart that says that the EUR 40 is more of a size 9.5-10 equivalent. And I stopped just short of feeling better about myself. Who cares? Size - like age - is just a number. If you wear it well, move on.

My snowboarding boots are a men’s 9. My graduation cap was a unisex large. Then again, my long fingers came in handy as they do for most musicians - so I guess it all depends on your perspective. I have ultimately concluded that I have an advantage in weight balancing while snowboarding because of the added foot surface area to distribute my weight across the ground.

After all, a “strength” is still a strength. You just have to regard it and use it in that way. ;) (The big head? Obviously increased, added brain power. I know you’re jealous.)